Recovery in the Lifestyle : RitL is a fellowship of BDSM lifestyle people and guests who are in recovery or would like to be. It is based on the 12 steps of recovery and recognizes that anonymity is most important for us all.

Interested in starting a RitL meeting ?

Starting a Recovery in the Lifestyle meetings is much the same as starting a meeting in any 12 step fellowship.


Here are a few suggestions based on our experiences:


1) Location: Find a place to hold a meeting. Some groups prefer to hold meetings where other recovery groups have their meetings already. Other groups prefer to hold meetings at local kink friendly locations for protecting anonymity. If you don't know of any locations in your area which might be suitable, you can always hold a meeting at a private home.


2) Support: We strongly encourage you to first seek support within your local lifestyle community (and if you are comfortable, within your local recovery community). You can contact us if you want us to anonymously mail basic postcard flyers to local recovery or lifestyle places in your area (or send them to you directly) to help with organizing awareness in your area. We strive to list all RitL meetings on this website, so when you have a time, date and location, please contact us so that we can help carry the message. Also, we have found all our local lifestyle groups (such as: munches, events, businesses, etc.) have been very supportive of our fellowship. They might be willing to help with outreach by posting flyers to announce meetings, etc.


Additionally, we are keeping a list to help RitL'rs to find each other in their locales for mutual support (listed below). If you want to be added to this list, or see a town in your area already on this list, please contact us and we will do our utmost to help you coordinate with others.


3) Literature: Download our literature. We keep all of our literature available on this web site for download in .pdf format from our Document Center. This includes our 12 steps & 12 traditions, sample meeting formats, the preamble, printable announcement flyers, and more.


Contact: We have received many inquires about people looking for others in the lifestyle & recovery who are interested in meetings. E-mail us at and we will act as intermediaries to help people connect - while preserving anonymity.

If you live in one of these areas, and would like to be a part of RitL, we've already had contact with your community. Yet something is missing, perhaps that something is you!


Discussion: We have a post on our FetLife group for people to "share their locations" for mutual support. You can read & post here (link).

Areas we've received inquiries from:
Ellensburg, WA
Fredrick, MD - e-mail
Houston, TX - e-mail
Jacksonville, FL - e-mail
Indianapolis, IN - e-mail
Las Vegas, NV
Nashville, TN - e-mail
New York City, NY - e-mail or e-mail
Northern NJ
Orange County, CA - e-mail
Phoenix, AZ - e-mail
Portland, OR - e-mail
Pacific NW - e-mail
Sarasota, FL - e-mail
Saratoga Springs, NY - e-mail
Sydney, Australia - e-mail
Tampa, FL - e-mail


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